“Look, Arnold 5!” Fantasy Man pointed to a large rainbow at the bottom of a valley. “It is a magical archway. It’s clearly the gateway to the Holy Grail. We haven’t a moment to lose!”

Arnold 5, Fantasy Man’s trusty unicorn, glided toward the rainbow. Three hours passed.

“Strange,” said Fantasy Man. “We’ve been travelling for three hours, and yet we seem no closer to our destination. I have another idea. Let’s forget all about the Holy Grail and get shitfaced instead!”

Fantasy Man and Arnold 5 proceeded to drink six pints of their favourite balsamic vinegar cocktail and spent the rest of the day in the park, rolling about in the grass and scaring passеrs by

The Adventures of Fantasy Man is a spoken-word piece narrated by professional snooker player Ronnie O’Sullivan and is the ninteenth track on Loose Tapestries Presents the Luxury Comedy Tapes

Loose Tapestries Presents the Luxury Comedy Tapes